10. I live with a Norwegian so I can spell Lutefisk.
9. I like to make fun of Sandra Bullock, too.
8. I can wear the HELL out of a purple, nylon wind suit. And I did.
7. In the 80’s I was blonde.
6. I play flag football like her until I have a Snickers.
5. My anecdotes usually make people cry. From confusion.
4. I also want to host SNL.
3. I plan to be more popular at 88 than I am now.
2. I can find St. Olaf on a map.

And the number 1. reason Betty White should adopt me: She’s the funniest woman alive or dead. Suck on that, Rue McClanahan.

Sincerely,

Sally B.

*Note: If you know Betty White and would be willing to facilitate a meeting, you will be heavily rewarded for your generosity. In the afterlife.