I am terrible at secrets. And I’m the world’s worst liar. I literally lack the ability to tell a lie - big or small - and have any single soul believe it. Lying comes so unnaturally to me that when I’m forced to fake it I contort my face, spit when I talk and bite my lower lip until it swells. Which only makes me look like Micky Rourke’s daughter. So, last week, I was more than proud of myself that I never spilled the beans that my cousins were throwing my aunt and uncle a surprise dinner for their 50th wedding anniversary where mom, dad and I were making an out-of-town appearance.

Oh, sure, I had ample opportunity to really fudge the whole deal. But, 50 years is a long time and I wanted it to be special. Plus, I was something like 89.7 percent certain my cousin Ashely would toss my ass into the Gulf. at night. if I blew it. And I knew that would be unpleasant and the water would probably be cold. So I worked hard all week, stretching my storytelling, tall tale muscles, telling little white lies. Because success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration. It was time to trim the fat.

I told my boss I liked his tie. Wrong!

I said yes when my mother asked if I was eating enough fruits and vegetables. False!

I said I was at the gym when I got called out for not returning a phone call. Untruth!

And it payed off. On Friday, we celebrated their 18,250 days of marriage. Of being a family. And they were surprised.

Family is a funny thing. I can’t say for sure what makes a family, but maybe they all start the same way. Maybe you become a family the moment you decide to love each other. The moment you realize your story has a beginning, and soon it will have a middle, but that it may never actually come to an end. And theirs is a funny little story with humble beginnings: Catholic boy meets Baptist girl. Girl’s mother forbids their relationship. They run away to Georgia and secretly marry. Boy joins the Army. They write to each other for months. Girl’s mother finds their secret letters. Boy and girl are outed but finally able to be a real family. They marry and have two lovely children. A boy and a girl. And live happily ever after.

No? *That’s not how it went? Are you sure? You can’t be. I’m a liar, and I’ve been practicing.

Sincerely,

Sally B.

*That’s absolutely how it went. I told you I suck at this.