Sincerely, Sally B.
Lessons from Alabama (aka The One in which I Retrieve a Package from the Post Office) When you try to order a harmless naughty gift to make your friend turn 57 shades of red at her bachelorette weekend, take caution in picking it up from your local U.S.P.S. Do not trust that the online adult retail chain delivering the item has your utmost discretion in mind. Might I suggest wearing a mask, sunglasses or hat? That way you won’t feel the heat of the entire building staring you down with their Pat Robertson, fornicator!!!, you-hate-Jesus eyes. Lemme get all Joy Turner on your ass for one sec: Shit, y’all, I thought I was gonna find a pe-pe sticking outta there. And that is NOT how I like to find pe-pe at the post office. I thought them folks would hang me up and staple a red H on my jorts… ya know, for hore. Thank god it wasn’t awkward. Sincerely, Sally B.

Lessons from Alabama (aka The One in which I Retrieve a Package from the Post Office)

When you try to order a harmless naughty gift to make your friend turn 57 shades of red at her bachelorette weekend, take caution in picking it up from your local U.S.P.S. Do not trust that the online adult retail chain delivering the item has your utmost discretion in mind. Might I suggest wearing a mask, sunglasses or hat? That way you won’t feel the heat of the entire building staring you down with their Pat Robertson, fornicator!!!, you-hate-Jesus eyes.

Lemme get all Joy Turner on your ass for one sec: Shit, y’all, I thought I was gonna find a pe-pe sticking outta there. And that is NOT how I like to find pe-pe at the post office. I thought them folks would hang me up and staple a red H on my jorts… ya know, for hore.

Thank god it wasn’t awkward.

Sincerely,

Sally B.

Posted 1 month ago