But it’s for everyone’s own good. (Lie.)

1. When I had surgery on my left hip, I told 7 people that I was attacked by a shark. I’m about 114 percent certain that 2 of them still believe it. Because I later told them it was an alligator bite. Apparently the shark was more believable. LIE.
2. When my roommate asks me how many DVR episodes of Glee I watched last weekend while she was gone, I’ll say 3. LIE.
3. I once told a friend that I had an older brother in an effort to try to fix her up with the imaginary brother. The point was that she didn’t trust me to set her up. It’s her own damn fault! They would have been so happy together. Nonetheless, LIE.
4. Sometimes I tell people that I think High School Musical is just another Disney franchise created with the express purpose of indoctrinating America’s youth. HUGE LIE. HUGE.
5. To avoid eating Mexican food, I told a friend that I’m allergic to salsa and beans. Partial LIE. My gastrointestinal system just can’t take that madness.

Sincerely,

Sally B.