Dear Carmike Cinemas,

We’ve got a problem. I am impatient. But that’s not the problem. The problem is paying $9.25 for a movie ticket and then $15.50 for some popcorn and drinks… then having to wait 30 minutes for the theater to open… 15 minutes behind schedule… and no previews. Now, this may be odd, but I actually enjoy the previews. I look forward to them. I like to see what’s coming next from Hollywood and what I can look forward to forcing my friends to see with me. I’m the jackass who immediately turns to her neighbor to critique said previews with nonsense like “totally gonna see it - I just cried” or “uhh, who in their right mind financed that crap - hell no.” Sometimes, I even mark my Blackberry calender at the end of a preview I like… which means another trip to your theater… and approximately $25 more you can count on ripping me off.

So, last night, I was pretty upset to then encounter the mass crowd waiting in line for Couples Retreat. Then, because of the line, we were ushered into the theater and shoved into front section seats, where I proceeded to watch the movie at a 45 degree angle from the screen just to see Vince Vaughn’s face. Not his best angle. Nor mine.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked the movie. Laughed my ass off. But, I’m really just curious if you accidentally posted an ad in the local paper for naked women and free beer. The way I see it, that must have been the case. Why the hell else would people come out in droves to see Jon Favreau take off his shirt… wait in line in the rain, pay too much and get no previews? I’ll tell you why. Because rednecks LOVE naked women and free beer.

Sincerely,

Sally B.