Texting with The Baby: Episode 27: I Love Her Most Because She's Supportive
The baby: "All I want in life is to afford Marc Jacobs and Tory Burch. Is that so much to ask?!"
Me: "All I want in life is to be a size zero and grow 4 inches. It can't be that hard!"
The baby: "Not at all. Just don't eat until you're about to pass out, then eat a cheese cube."
Me: "Thanks. I'm effing allergic to cheese now!"
The baby: "You have no reason to live."
