Alert the press, Mr. Carson.
I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP ON DOWNTON. Praises be to the little baby Jesus and his majesty the king! I’m sorry I’m not sorry for making awful Dowager Countess style faces at everyone in my office.
In related news: No one will do me the immeasurably small courtesy of calling me Lady Sally.
Sincerely,
Lady Sally B.
Prediction of the Year: Jon Hamm is the new George Clooney
I’m probably not the first to say it, but hear me, ladies and gays: Jon Hamm is the new George Clooney.
Like George, this man is only getting better, and better looking, with age. Scruffy or clean-shaven. Glasses or without. Tuxedo or denim. This man is every woman’s fantasy.
Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee? Nobody doesn’t want to sex Jon Hamm.
In 10 more years, we’ll love him even more than we do now, which, for me, is hard to imagine. He’ll direct. He’ll produce. He might even start a philanthropic organization that saves millions of lives, or become the ambassador to somewhere nobody’s heard of but everyone will love. He’ll give us more dramas. He’ll give us more comedies. He’ll probably even give us a horror crime action thriller that reminds us why we hate Hollywood. But, we’ll love him just the same, like we did George during that whole tragic Quentin Tarantino thing.
Then he’ll receive critical acclaim for a series of Oscar worthy roles following a scandalous cover of Vanity Fair for which he wears practically nothing (PLEASE, GOD, ANSWER MY PRAYERS). And the fact that he’s in a non-traditional and virtually unheard of celebrity relationship - because it seems to last - with a woman who is smart, funny and beautiful? Shit. God bless him.
You show me a woman who wouldn’t sell her eggs to be with Jon Hamm, and I’ll show you how to unplug the Internet.
I love when I’m right.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
Oh, so this is a thing: Draping -
Of course it is.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
[video]
“I love it when you’re righteously indignant.” —
boss
This is completely outrageous! I never in my life!
Sincerely,
Sally B.
I Should Not Be Reviewing Movies: I MIGHT NOT WANT TO HAVE KIDS AND I THINK I’M THE ONLY ONE
Dear, sweet Ali Ashbaker,
You are not the only one. Also, I prefer to think of us as pioneers.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
[video]
Mondays are for the birds.
Especially those that follow Daylight Saving Time.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
(Source: vintagechampagnefever)
Fridays are for making faces.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
I left a stranger a polite and professional voicemail from my office today. I used the speakerphone because a coworker and I were meeting about said stranger and the topic of said voicemail. At the end of my message, I placed the phone on the receiver and promptly began bitching about said stranger’s organization, even referring to them as idiots at one point, as I do most strangers. Several minutes later, as I continued to whine with the coworker who was still in my office, there was a familiar “Please hang up or…” and I didn’t hear the rest because at that moment I realized that the voicemail was not over. When I thought I had hung up the phone minutes earlier, it did not end the call. All of my ranting was captured by said stranger’s voicemail. She probably heard me say that said topic was a waste of my time… I’d be willing bet that she heard me loudly grumble about her lack of availability… And she definitely heard me say that her organization is full of idiots. There’s no escaping this one.
Revelation: I hate speakerphone and do not know how to use it.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
[video]
we just released the first dates! Did you see? wooooo! Go getchur tix!
More to be announced soon… don’t you fret west coast ;]
Do what she says… and do it now.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
We got some GREAT news this week. Like, the best kind you can get. Ever. I can’t be any more specific than that, but I want you all to celebrate in my family’s honor. If drinking champagne is your thing to celebrate (because we all know it’s my thing, except when I’m crazy), then do that. If you like to dance in your underwear to celebrate, do that. If going for a run is your thing, do that. If eating an entire box of Oreos is how you swing a celebration, then do the damn thing.
Do whatever it is you do to celebrate, and think of us while you do it. We know you will, and that’s all the support we could ask for.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
5/22/12
1. Queen of California
2. The Age of Worry
3. Shadow Days
4. Speak for Me
5. Something Like Olivia
6. Born and Raised
7. If I Ever Get Around To Living
8. Love is a Verb
9. Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967
10. Whisky, Whisky, Whisky
11. A Face To Call Home
12. Born and Raised (Reprise)
Johnny-come-lately he isn’t
I heard “Shadow Days” on my favorite XM channel yesterday afternoon. Welcome back, sir. You’ve been missed.
Sincerely,
Sally B.