Nerd Boyfriend of the Day - Harry Crane (Rich Sommer)
In honor of Mad Men announcing that its 2012 season will premiere on March 25, I present you with my not-so-secret MM crush and today’s Nerd Boyfriend of the Day, Mr. Harry Crane, aka Rich Sommer.
He’s the lime to my vodka tonic… that I’m not drinking these days.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
What Newsweek said.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
Wikipedia goes dark. SOPA!
Sincerely,
Sally B.
I think... I think I just got turned on by North Dakota -
Color me… snow-covered.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
[video]
Fridays are for pony lovers.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
Dear readers,
My name is Sally, and I am a sugar addict. I know what you’re thinking: Is that code for cocaine?
Decidedly not.
I’m talking about good ole fashioned sucrose - white shit in your drinks, cereal and snacks. It’s from, like, corn and molecules in a sugar cane or something. It tastes like sex and endorphins.
*So this year, I’m getting off it.
In 2012, I will not be consuming:
Weight loss is cool and everything… but don’t you want to see if I can even do this? I know I do.
Because I’m not a complete asshole and don’t want to bore you poor people to tears, I’m not turning this into a food blog. I read a lot of good ones, and this one would be terrible. But you can expect me to gripe, bitch, complain and suffer through withdrawals here. That’s the beauty of this blog being mine.
Listen, I’m not Bob Harper. I didn’t read some diet book or watch a gripping episode of Dr. Oz - though I once read some article in a doctor’s office about a guy who quit sugar and it seemed crazy enough to be cool - I’m just making this shit up as I go. I’m not counting carbs or calories. I’m just saying no to sugar. And I rarely say no to anything, so this should get good.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
*Of course I’m not talking about small amounts of natural sugar found in fruits and vegetables. Because, let’s get serious, how in the hell am I supposed to survive by not eating fruit and vegetables? I’m not a Panther.
“I wish it could just be simple, like a retro pop song, ‘I want you to want me.’ Boom. End of story. We all live happily ever after. But it is never really like that, is it?” —
that stupid movie with that guy from Desperate Housewives
But, no. It never is.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
No no no. This is not happening.
WHY, GOD!
Sincerely,
Sally B.
I want 2012 to be about change. Because I want to backslide like a muther fucker in 2013.
What am I talking about? I’m not even sure…
Basically, I’ve decided that I’m making 2012 about me, so I’m going to do a bunch of awesome shit this year. It’s not a bucket list, because I’m going to live forever. It’s not a New Year’s resolution, because resolutions are for quitters.
It is just… how it’s going to be.
So this blog is going to be filled with a lot of awesome shit coming up - awesome shit that makes me happy but is also productive, healthy and fulfilling in a positive way. You’re welcome, readers.
Some of it may not seem so awesome to you… and that is why this blog does not offer comments.
As for the backsliding in 2013. Well, that’s why it’s going to be called the Year of Ridiculous. Next year, I think I’ll undo all of the good I’ve just done myself by doing all of the crazy-awesome shit I’ve always wanted to do, even if it might be considered destructive, unhealthy and down-right dangerous. [Don’t get stupid - I’m talking about letting loose not contracting communicable diseases.] Because what’s the point of getting to the top of the world if you can’t throw yourself back down to the bottom and then try to climb up again?
Sincerely,
Sally B.
“Those parking passes we order went from $1 to $5… those fucking communist assholes.” —
the boss
He can smell bullshit from a thousand paces.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
“What should I put as a title for this thing… ‘just get ready for this shit?!’” —
the middle
If I knew that getting her hired after grad school could be this entertaining, I’d have started helping with her cover letter and resume months ago. As the baby says, you can always just say “Get ready… I’m coming for ya!”
Sincerely,
Sally B.
how someone can be a “vice president of communications” and not know how to write a coherent sentence.
And to this I simply offer… Amen.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
Anonymous asked: I have nothing to ask. But I came across your blog and find it adorable. I too went to Auburn (graduated in 2004) and live in Atlanta. I love your writing style. So fun and a good read at work. And work has yet to figure out that sometimes your blog is inappropriate for work. HA Keep writing. You are a really good write and story teller.
Courtney Cochran
Courtney, thank you for reading… and thanks for your comments. There is nothing I love more than a nice handwritten internet note. The rest of you could learn a thing or two from Courtney. Also, thank god your office IT people are friggin’ idiots so you can avoid getting fired for reading my trash!
Merry Christmas!