February 2012
22 posts
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Release Date/Track Listing
jhnmyr:
5/22/12
1. Queen of California
2. The Age of Worry
3. Shadow Days
4. Speak for Me
5. Something Like Olivia
6. Born and Raised
7. If I Ever Get Around To Living
8. Love is a Verb
9. Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967
10. Whisky, Whisky, Whisky
11. A Face To Call Home
12. Born and Raised (Reprise)
Johnny-come-lately he isn’t
I heard “Shadow Days” on...
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You almost hit me in the wine glass!
– mom
Because it is literally an extension of her hand.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
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Lemme call you back, that’s my client calling… the one who thinks...
– the lawyer
If only I had known that lawyering could be this entertaining…
Sincerely,
Sally B.
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I had a little hack before I started smoking. But the smoke is like exercise, it...
– boss
His logic. Oh, his logic.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
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This means war
coworker: There has been a guy crouched down outside my window holding 2 nurf guns for the past 5 minutes.
me: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. They were all over the concourse the other day. Apparently this is the new thing, campus nerf wars... I hate that I know that.
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Breaking up with Blackberry
boss: I got my iPhone today...
me: No. Absolutely not.
boss: What?
me: I will not help you set it up, learn to use it or find your contacts.
boss: You're relentless.
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This is a lot of rules... I will stick to number 3... →
P.S. Word of the Day: “diabesity”
Sincerely,
Sally B.
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The Red President
boss: Name a communist country... North Korea.
me: Cuba... and China
boss: China isn't a communist country anymore.
me: Sure it is... Ok, fine.
boss: You can be a bastard without being a communist. Just look at Obama.
me: You went there.
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Oh, and can we talk about the fact that Liam Neeson was THROWN CLEAR OUT OF THE...
– she’s not going to let this one go
Sincerely,
Sally B.
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My friends are better than your friends
Why?
Because when I emailed this story around this morning, here’s what I got back: “Um, this is what I use. So, how good are you at building diaper cakes?
“Worst. mistake. ever.”
“Whoopsies.”
“Well thank god I use the time honored pull out method! Oh just kidding - we all know I’m celibate.”
Real grownups care about news about a...
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Sorry I missed your call. I drank some Riesling and passed out on the sofa. Damn...
– my lawyer is good at text messages
Also, she has strong opinions on American film and Bama fans.
Sincerely,
Sally B.