January 2011
15 posts
7 tags
Substances
me: Kids will do anything to get high these days... I sound like my mother.
elizabeth: Yeah, remember when people would put vodka in their eyes?
me: EXCUSE ME?
elizabeth: I guess that was "last year." It always starts in Florida.
Jan 31st
1 note
6 tags
Jan 28th
8 tags
In case you weren't sure
me: [after being forced onto a construction site in pretty shoes] I'll be in the bathroom... washing my shoes off.
boss: Pansy.
me: Shut up. I'm a woman.
Jan 28th
7 tags
Garments
me: I bought 7 dresses to try for that work thing.
middle: SEVEN?!
me: Yes, I need options... what was I supposed to do? The mall here has nothing.
middle: Buy one at a time.
me: I don't have enough time for that.
middle: Well, I just want you to know that that's exorbitant.
me: I just wish they knew that they're in a competition for my affection.
middle: I don't think they give a shit.
Jan 27th
7 notes
6 tags
In the name of Bieber Fever, go on and help these... →
Do it for Twitter! Do it for the realm of social networking! Do it… to see if it works. Sincerely,  Sally B.
Jan 27th
5 tags
Jan 27th
7 tags
WatchWatch
Oprah on marriage And for all you people who think I’m crazy: Oprah gets it… so it must be normal. Sincerely, Sally B.
Jan 24th
4 tags
“Well, let’s not call him ‘aloof’ when the New York Times...”
– the boss THIS is what we do. Sincerely, Sally B.
Jan 20th
1 note
6 tags
Jan 20th
8 tags
WatchWatch
Cam Newton on Jay Leno, 1/11/11 It was no coincidence that the Heisman Trophy winner on the number one college football team in the country appeared on Leno last night on 1/11/11. The number just suits us. Sincerely, Sally B.
Jan 12th
6 tags
Jan 10th
1 note
6 tags
Sense of urgency
boss: [leisurely browsing his Blackberry]
me: [in a hurry, out of breath] Hey, what time is it?
boss: [long sigh followed by an arms-over-head stretch] ... Hammer Time. [back to browsing the Blackberry]
Jan 7th
6 tags
Jan 7th
6 tags
Jan 6th
28 notes
5 tags
Translation
me: [typing]
boss: Would you say this is a typo or more of a matter of editorial style?
me: [turning to look at what he has]
boss: [pointing to a line of text, shoves a Russian language book under my nose]
me: [long sigh, pushes the book away]
boss: HAHAHAHA!!!
me: ... all right, fine... I like what you did there.
boss: I knew it.
Jan 4th