July 2010
7 posts
3 tags
4 tags
“I tried on a romper. One word: disaster. I looked like I was two, walking around...”
– the baby
She may be young, but she’s wise.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
Healthy little tiger
me: I bet I'm the youngest person you've screened, right?
pharmacy student: Umm, yeah, you probably are.
me: Awesome... I should get a discount for that... like, another one.
pharmacy student: Do you want to do the optional body mass checker?
me: ... HELL no. But thanks. It just looks like it wants to ruin my afternoon.
pharmacy student: So now I'll do a cholesterol test ... and just prick your finger...
me: I can handle that. Here ya go... so is there a way to really win this thing? [shaking my clenched fist at her] What's the best number?
pharmacy student: Well, the optimal number is less than 200.
me: No problem. I got this.
pharmacy student: [after a few minutes] Ok, it looks like your total cholesterol is 230 wh-
me: WHAT?! Like, more than 200? Not possible. I'm 27.
pharmacy student: Well, you do have a history of heart disease in your family and you're a diabetic so you'll want to get that down, which you can do by-
me: Eating Cheerios, I know... damn... reality check, right?!
pharmacy student: That's why you're here.
me: NOOO, I'M HERE FOR THE $25 DISCOUNT ON MY HEALTH INSURANCE... I'm sorry I just yelled at you. And slammed my fist on this chair.
pharmacy student: It's ok. [pats my arm]
Thoughts on Lebron
Who the hell is Lebron? Seriously, I don’t even know… he plays basketball or something, right? Something about the heat? It’s July fools. Of course it’s hot. Especially in Miami. I think I’m OOTL on this one because I’m short. And short people don’t know shit about basketball.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
