February 2010
15 posts
Not the kind you find in your pockets
I generally reject any form of self control, which is why I never get through a Lenten season without bum rushing whatever it was I moronically decided to try and withhold from myself for more than a month. I like to start by saying I’m giving up something held in high esteem, like: green vegetables yoga Scotch professional wrestling Wednesdays But then I guilt myself into taking it...
Feb 26th
“I don’t think I’m being much help to you because the only advice I...”
–  Somebody took the GA Bar Exam yesterday. And was completely unhelpful.
Feb 24th
On the inappropriateness of singing in the...
Foremost, it’s distracting. Not in a good way. I know it’s weird, but you ARE the only one who can hear the music through those ear buds. I’m trying to enjoy my mid-morning beverage, lunch, rare silence, Internet browsing, but I can’t. BECAUSE ALL I HEAR IS YOUR VOICE. This is an OFFICE. We do work here. Sort of. Anyway, this is NOT a playground. Go sit by yourself...
Feb 23rd
“I feel like I’m watching Edward Cullen on ice.”
– The roommate, while watching Canadian figure skater Patrick Chan free skate at the Olympics last night
Feb 19th
1 note
3 tags
To 50 More
I am terrible at secrets. And I’m the world’s worst liar. I literally lack the ability to tell a lie - big or small - and have any single soul believe it. Lying comes so unnaturally to me that when I’m forced to fake it I contort my face, spit when I talk and bite my lower lip until it swells. Which only makes me look like Micky Rourke’s daughter. So, last week, I was more...
Feb 19th
1 note
Feb 19th
Listen“Poison & Wine” - The Civil Wars...
Feb 15th
Feb 14th
The one in which we fail to listen.
Me: Did you see that Bill Clinton was admitted to the hospital for having chest pa-
Mom: DID HE DIE?!
Me: ... uh.. no?
Mom: DID HE DIIIIIEEEE?!?!
Me: I mean, I wasn't there... so, I don't think so... they're just saying he was admitted to the hospital with chest pai-
Mom: Wait... [TV noise in the background]... Oh, it sounds like he's alive.
Me: Right.
Mom: Good thing he wasn't in Haiti.
Me: What?
Mom: Hahaha! Oh, sorry. Ok.
Feb 11th
Feb 11th
WatchWatch
Good news: I still have my ovaries. Bad news: We ate all the s’mores. Sincerely, Sally B.
Feb 8th
4 tags
Feb 3rd
4 tags
Hold Onto Your Hats
I’ve been talking about this week a lot. But it’s finally here. On Thursday, the six of us will cram ourselves into an SUV loaded down with sparkling booze, 80s music and complex carbohydrates, and promptly begin celebrating the impending nuptials of our bestest friend. And by that I mean, we’ll be drunk. A lot. And probably talking about sex like a bunch of 12-year-old boys in a...
Feb 2nd
Feb 2nd
3 tags
Sex education classes that focus on encouraging... →
And in other news, major television networks and the entire motion picture industry announce they’ll be canceling all prime time shows and will halt production on a number of film projects currently in progress for the 15-35 year old audience due to a lack of content. Film at 11. Sincerely, Sally B.
Feb 2nd